Finally, a tag that doesn't suck.

Dear Pav,

I don't really know how to tell you this, our romance is over. I think I realized it when you smacked my ass in your closet and I saw you sit on the elephant in the corner. I'm sure you're cowardly enough to understand that your driving sucks. I'm returning your love letters to me to you, but I'll keep your mom as a memory. You should also know that I love your sweet, sweet ass and your cucumber-fetishism is weird.

Love always,
Rowie

Me taggie you!

Pavitra

Albert

May Zhen

Yi Xian

Ee Lyn

Jeffrey

Jon Jon

Here's how you do it:
Dear (someone you recently talked to),

I don't really know how to tell you this,(1). I think I realized it (2)(3) and
I saw you (4)(5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7).
I'm returning your (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory.
You should also know that I (10) and (11).

(12),
Name

1) What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - I'm in love with your cat
Red - Our affair is over
White - I’m joining the Convent
Black -Our romance is over
Green- Our socks don't match
Grey - You're a leprechaun
Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - Purple hedgehogs want to destroy you
Other -I dislike your eyelashes

2) Which is your birth month?
January - That night you picked your nose
February -When I quoted Forrest Gump
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on peanut butter
May - When I threw up in your sock drawer
June - When you put cuffs on me
July – When I saw the purple monkey
August - When you smacked my ass
September - Last year when you peed your pants
October - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
November - When your dog humped my leg
December - When I finally changed my underwear

3) Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
Chicken- In your car
Pasta - Outside of your office
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad – As you were eating Kraft Dinner
Lasagna - In your closet
Kebab - With Jean Chrétien
Fish - In a clown suit
Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert
Pizza - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a street light
Annat- With George Bush and Stephen Harper

4) What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Ignore
Red - Put whipped cream on
Black - Hit on
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - bit of
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the pants off of
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive over

5) What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My boyfriend
White - My father
Grey – The Catholic Priest
Brown – The Montreal Canadian’s goalie
Purple - My corned beef hash
Red – My knee caps
Blue - My salt-beef bucket
Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana
Orange - My Blink 182 cd
Pink – My ‘My Little Pony’ collection
Other --The elephant in the corner

6) What do you prefer to watch on TV?
One Tree Hill - Senile
Heroes- Frostbitten
Lost - High
Simpsons- Cowardly
The news - Scarred
American Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Open
Top Model - Bitchy
Annat -shamed

7) Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful you are
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That I get turned on only by garbage men
Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
Depressed – That we’re related
Excited - That I may pee my pants
Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried - That your Ford sucks
Apathetic - That you need a sex-change
Silly - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exist
Ashamed - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid
Other - That your driving sucks

8) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your toe ring
Yellow - Your love letters to me
Red - The pictures from Vegas
Black - Your pet rock
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - Your car
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your nose hair clippers
Grey - Our matching snoopy underwear
Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your Hannah Montana underwear

9) The first letter of your first name?
A/B - My virginity
C/D - Your photo with the moustache drawn on it
E/F - Your neighbors dog
G/H - The oil tank from your car
I/J - Your left ear
K/L - The results of that blood-sample
M/N - Your glass eye
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X – Your suicide note
Y/Z - Your credit cards

10) The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Love your sweet, sweet ass
C/D - Always will remember the pep talks
E/F -Never will forget that night
G/H – Will not tell the authorities that you stole the whale from the backyard.
I/J – Mocked you behind your back constantly
K/L - Hate your cooking
M/N - Told in my confession today about the moose poaching
O/P - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises
Q/R - Always wanted to break your legs
S/T - Get sick when I think of your feet
U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart
W/X - Haven’t showered in a month
Y/Z – am better off without you

11) What do you prefer to drink?
Wine- Our friendship is ruined
Soft drink – I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon
Soda – I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo
Milk - The apartment building is on fire
Water – I'm scratching my butt as you read this
Cider– I have a passionate interest for mice
Juice – You ruined my attempts at another world war
Mineral/Vitamin water – You should get that embarrassing rash checked
Hot chocolate – Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird
Whiskey - I love Oprah Winfrey
Beer – Thanks for the Cocaine
Other – you should stop picking your nose

12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand – Warm tingly sensations
Australia - Best of luck on the sex change
France - Love always
Spain - With tears of sadness
China – You make me sick
Germany – Please don’t hurt me
Japan - Go milk a cow
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
USA - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt – Kiss my butt
England - Go drown yourself.

I shall

• never say, "You can't imagine what a bad day I've had!" or "Man, you can never live the day I've had.", because, little do I know the other person may have had a worst day than me.

• never forget that a joke well presented or badly done remains a joke at the end of the day.

• eat more chocolate.

Spiders Beat Glass Slippers.

The frantic desire to escape rang with her veins. Nefarious desire.

Oolala. The bell rang. Cryptic reason painted across her mind, reason to kill? No, it did not fit the description on the back of the bottle.

Opening the door was a task. There were no peepholes. She swore, inwardly, crashing to the floor, she couldn't. She resisted. What tasted bitter was sweet. What was sweet had a bitter ending, though the ending has not come.

Patience, she calmed herself, clutching herself, rocking herself to and fro singing a lullaby. "You lunatic, " she cursed herself for being weak. She will never tear.

She got up and walked away from the door. She buried herself with books. Chores were never ending, never satisfying, it bored her to the bone. Bone? Cryptic.

She walked to the stables, patted the horse. Wondering aloud, "Shall no knight adorn you?" She dusted the cobwebs and came to a conclusion.

She'd much rather be Miss Muffet than Cinderella. Cinderella had mice and a fairy godmother. Miss Muffet had none and she ran, all by herself.

But somewhere, far away, she heard a knock. Faint but audible, small and still.

She's 21 and not so free.

That's Susan.
Elijah.

A poser.

HE'S SINGLE, AVAILABLE & FOURTEEN.

Not my fault it's dark. Somebody else's.

Somebody's thirteen. I wonder who?

MY TOBBY , OF COURSE!!!

He's thirteen and he's mine!

The Next Top Model pose.

Cousins.

Bobo and the Princess.

Thriller gone wrong.

The Jing Bang.

Inspiration floodeth the mind.

I'VE GOT TWO STORIES TO WRITE.

Not one, not three, not eight hundred and twenty-four but TWO stories to write.

To tickle the mind, excite the nerves and promote laughter. It shall have my signature all over it.

PRINCESS PROPERTY.

Toodles. I go to write.

What is and was.

There was a soliloquy at the end of my tongue that lost its way to the tips of my fingers as I approached the keyboard. Why, I ask myself? It was a pretty good example of my current status. As Lord Augustus would say, "...demmed good...."(repeatedly).

Somehow, it escaped.

No, actually it was a blinking orange light. Sheesh, the frail heart. I need cardio steroids. Any reasonable prescription anyone?

You know what? I will write it. YES I WILL!!!

That's because Royalty doesn't back down.

For the sake of 6 S's

I jumped the pagar for these peeps.
The joke about being flat. I shall not embarrass Susu. So I shan't speak.

PEOPLE, RELAX! BREATHE EASY! THE C-DRIVE IS OKAY. (This explains the burst of posts which follows after).

It's a PAD!

Not in the sense you're thinking, you dirty fools!

I meant, the Prefect's Annual Dinner.

There was this blackout, and suddenly, April screamed out loud, "Rishen, STOP GROPING ME!" Very prefect indeed!

Into the light, out of the very 'romantic mood', darkness and all, we found matching ties.
Old people like to smile, it helps them look younger. See all that pearly white.

From left: Albert, Charmaine, Leonard.
She claims that everybody wants to be a cat. I'd say that's a disgusting notion. I'd much rather kick cats.
Charmaine delivering her last speech. She started off by shutting up the Form Fours saying that would be the last. What a load of nonsense. We wonder how Sharleen survived.
Puan Rohaidah's turn.
A scandalous break with April.
Sharm entertaining us.
Beauty Queens. Drool.
"Ladies, check out my booty!"
The best dressed men.
The winners.
Emcees for the night.
Oh, the drama!
Pretty maids all in a row-oh-oh....
From left: April, Albert, her Highness in all awe and beauty, Princess Rowena and Sharm.
Rishen trying to be more macho, Albert constipating.
Rishi's Angels. Saved him from emceeing.
Cam-whoring gone wrong.
Two lovely ladies. You may now drool.

Up North and Back Again.

We begin our trip to Kedah. To officiate our arrival at Penang, here's a butt shot from Rishen.

Thank you. That will be all.
Messes.
Fire crackers.
Daddy retrieving childhood.

Can only mean one thing. Holidays.

The following pictures will show you what an awesome photographer I am. plus, for those of you who have never been on a ferry to Penang, the following pictures may want to make you do so.

I rock.

The berth area. BERTH not birth. There's no pushing needed.
View below from on the ferry.
Lone ranger.




Bye Bye!