Can I drive?

This is THE question. The question I use to bug my parents when ever they go out. Whether its:-

• going to church
• coming home from church
• picking up books from Nat
• sending kiddo to tuition

or even just sitting behind the wheel to get the feel of the car... Yeah, I love showing off the fact I can drive. Do you know why? you wanna know why?

It's because.....

I'm a bit afraid of driving. Oh yes, I'm a mouse. Squeak*

But hey, I've been tackling some stuff, kay?

So, grunt* RAWR* and squeaks*.

"That was the last cookie?"

There just aren't many good blogs to read anymore.

This irks me. Me no likey.

Especially when I am stuck at home, in this massive war-zone like area (spring cleaning explains your curiosity)good reading material comes in handy.

Will someone please write something good?

Please?

Thank you, because I realize my butter fingers are just racing over my keyboard at this melodramatic pace, threatening peace as a whole with sharpened sword at the edge of a ravine.

It's best to dress in black.

Pathetic. She thought as she popped a popcorn into her mouth. Chewing slowly she watched twenty-two crazy chickens running across a wide green field after a checkered ball. It was called football. Soccer. Whichever pleases you.

She popped another into her mouth.

Since her crazy friend's crazy boyfriend was crazy over football and was crazy enough to buy tickets for all the football games for the season, she decided to be a crazy donkey and try watching a game. It was, by far the most crazy idea she has ever stepped into.

Now that craziness had been covered, let's try stupidity. The team she was supposed to be supporting had green as their theme colour. She had stupidly worn blue, the opponent's colour. This had nearly started a brawl between her friend and her boyfriend, but thank God, the guy stocked his car with numerous green items. The 3 foot long scarf looking thing had proved itself worthy of camouflaging a bright blue shirt in the midst of hundreds of greens.

The green team had begin booing the blue team. The blue team booed back. This idiotic act would continue until a team had managed to bring a ball near the goal post and continue where it had left off after the team had failed to score a goal.

She had decided she wanted to go home. Tucking into tasteless potatoes and watching a documentary on deserts would be more fun than this. Just as she was about to get up, there was a loud shout. A blue team guy had tripped a green team guy just as he was about to shoot a clear goal. In a trice, the field was flooded with green team fans. Forgive her, team names never registered in her brain. Among the patriots were her crazy friend's boyfriend. A massive art of punching, pulling and clobbering each other like fools had begun. She sat down. The show had just begun.

It was as though the Revolutionary War was taking place. Except, red coats were replaced by green. Americans versus Leprechauns. It didn't take too long for the peace makers to arrive. The police with fancy paraphernalia begin shooting some powdery thing to clear the crowd. Party poopers. Her crazy friend had already stopped booing and began calling out to her crazy boyfriend to come back.

At the car park area, green team fans mumbled regrets of not punching blue team fans harder. She shuddered, the violence temporarily freaked her out. She was, after all wearing blue. As she was about to get into the car, she heard a loud thud. A blue team fan had pushed her crazy friend's boyfriend to the ground and began pummeling him. The two got bloody and no one stopped them. The green team cheered them on. Her crazy friend yelled them off. She stood mum.

At the funeral, there were no green team fans. Her crazy friend's crazy boyfriend had died. With her arm around her crazy friend, she silently led her towards the grave to have a last look at his crazy face. Around the cross hung the green scarf looking thing. Glancing around at the little crowd that had gathered she noted that she had followed the colour code.

Boredom Exclamation Point

Princess Rowena speaketh: Polka dots and tiny tots. says:

Wanna go for a Lamborghini convention?

Rishen N says:

WTF?!?!?!?!!?!

convention?

Princess Rowena speaketh: Polka dots and tiny tots. says:

yes...

limited seats

Rishen N says:

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YES

ROWIE

Princess Rowena speaketh: Polka dots and tiny tots. says:

i got tickets!

Rishen N says:

I WILL BEG ON UR KNEES!!!!

ROWIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

*BEGS!!!!!!!!!!!*

Princess Rowena speaketh: Polka dots and tiny tots. says:

i got them free!

Rishen N says:

I'll call u princess

PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ROWIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

*cries desperately*

Princess Rowena speaketh: Polka dots and tiny tots. says:

its really cool

because

they teach you how to invest

Rishen N says:

ROWIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Princess Rowena speaketh: Polka dots and tiny tots. says:

from now for a specific Lamborghini

Rishen N says:

BRING MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

WTF?!?!?!!?!

WOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

ROWIEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I WANNA GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Princess Rowena speaketh: Polka dots and tiny tots. says:

and yes

Rishen N says:

ROWIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Princess Rowena speaketh: Polka dots and tiny tots. says:

they also... give I LOVE LAMBORGHINI SHIRTS!

Rishen N says:

ok, dont push it la

i aint that dumb

Princess Rowena speaketh: Polka dots and tiny tots. says:

owh... you dun wan to go ah?

never mind

Rishen N says:

I WANTTTTTTTTT

Princess Rowena speaketh: Polka dots and tiny tots. says:

i'll take albert

tiru

Rishen N says:

ROWIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Princess Rowena speaketh: Polka dots and tiny tots. says:

and pav!

Rishen N says:

*WAILS*

seriously lah

when and where?

Princess Rowena speaketh: Polka dots and tiny tots. says:

OH YA... ONE MORE THING

YOU GOT PUNKED!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

Rishen N says:

i thought so

Princess Rowena speaketh: Polka dots and tiny tots. says:

Lamborghini convention?

hahahahahahahahhaha

Rishen N says:

but there is a convention

Princess Rowena speaketh: Polka dots and tiny tots. says:

why would i be interested

Rishen N says:

seriously

Princess Rowena speaketh: Polka dots and tiny tots. says:

i hate lambos!

Rishen N says:

i googled it

Princess Rowena speaketh: Polka dots and tiny tots. says:

yes ah...?

Rishen N says:

yeah

Princess Rowena speaketh: Polka dots and tiny tots. says:

owh

i see.

hahha... go lar

dun forget to bring

me back a

Rishen N says:

wanna go? it was last year

haha

Princess Rowena speaketh: Polka dots and tiny tots. says:

I LOVE LAMBO shirt!

hahahahahahahahah!

i am saving this conversation

Rishen N says:

Princess Rowena speaketh: Polka dots and tiny tots. says:

better still, I'll blog it!

Rishen N says:

SHIT

oh, go on

i'm immune, Rowie

ur critisicm doesnt harm me

scrutiny doesnt exist in my dictionary

although i do it to ppl

Princess Rowena speaketh: Polka dots and tiny tots. says:

hehehehehehhehehehehehehe...

u sure....?

Rishen N says:

u were really bored huh?

yeah

i am too

not to ur extent though

Princess Rowena speaketh: Polka dots and tiny tots. says:

i am so bored

boredom is an understatement

Rishen N says:

lol

errr

i cant think of another

Princess Rowena speaketh: Polka dots and tiny tots. says:

what?

Rishen N says:

wait

lemme check my thesaurus

Princess Rowena speaketh: Polka dots and tiny tots. says:

cheater!

Rishen N says:

what's the point of a thesaurus then?

Rowie, it isnt a dinosaur.

hahahaahahaha

post this part on ur blog too!

hahahahahahahahahahaha!

Princess Rowena speaketh: Polka dots and tiny tots. says:

hahahaha... okay!

Rishen N says:

there isnt anyhing

recent

ah

im going to hit the bed

night

Princess Rowena speaketh: Polka dots and tiny tots. says:

dun hit it too hard

it might break!

Rishen N says:

okay!

Princess Rowena speaketh: Polka dots and tiny tots. says:

bye bye kutti!

Rishen N says:

bye

SAVE THE PRINCESS

She is bored.

You do not know what boredom does to her.

This Princess goes nuts.

Thus, save her.

I plead you.

Yours truly,

Her Blog.

(who is so sick of her dumb, metaphorical stories and rants).

Finally, a tag that doesn't suck.

Dear Pav,

I don't really know how to tell you this, our romance is over. I think I realized it when you smacked my ass in your closet and I saw you sit on the elephant in the corner. I'm sure you're cowardly enough to understand that your driving sucks. I'm returning your love letters to me to you, but I'll keep your mom as a memory. You should also know that I love your sweet, sweet ass and your cucumber-fetishism is weird.

Love always,
Rowie

Me taggie you!

Pavitra

Albert

May Zhen

Yi Xian

Ee Lyn

Jeffrey

Jon Jon

Here's how you do it:
Dear (someone you recently talked to),

I don't really know how to tell you this,(1). I think I realized it (2)(3) and
I saw you (4)(5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7).
I'm returning your (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory.
You should also know that I (10) and (11).

(12),
Name

1) What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - I'm in love with your cat
Red - Our affair is over
White - I’m joining the Convent
Black -Our romance is over
Green- Our socks don't match
Grey - You're a leprechaun
Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - Purple hedgehogs want to destroy you
Other -I dislike your eyelashes

2) Which is your birth month?
January - That night you picked your nose
February -When I quoted Forrest Gump
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on peanut butter
May - When I threw up in your sock drawer
June - When you put cuffs on me
July – When I saw the purple monkey
August - When you smacked my ass
September - Last year when you peed your pants
October - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
November - When your dog humped my leg
December - When I finally changed my underwear

3) Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
Chicken- In your car
Pasta - Outside of your office
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad – As you were eating Kraft Dinner
Lasagna - In your closet
Kebab - With Jean Chrétien
Fish - In a clown suit
Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert
Pizza - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a street light
Annat- With George Bush and Stephen Harper

4) What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Ignore
Red - Put whipped cream on
Black - Hit on
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - bit of
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the pants off of
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive over

5) What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My boyfriend
White - My father
Grey – The Catholic Priest
Brown – The Montreal Canadian’s goalie
Purple - My corned beef hash
Red – My knee caps
Blue - My salt-beef bucket
Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana
Orange - My Blink 182 cd
Pink – My ‘My Little Pony’ collection
Other --The elephant in the corner

6) What do you prefer to watch on TV?
One Tree Hill - Senile
Heroes- Frostbitten
Lost - High
Simpsons- Cowardly
The news - Scarred
American Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Open
Top Model - Bitchy
Annat -shamed

7) Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful you are
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That I get turned on only by garbage men
Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
Depressed – That we’re related
Excited - That I may pee my pants
Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried - That your Ford sucks
Apathetic - That you need a sex-change
Silly - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exist
Ashamed - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid
Other - That your driving sucks

8) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your toe ring
Yellow - Your love letters to me
Red - The pictures from Vegas
Black - Your pet rock
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - Your car
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your nose hair clippers
Grey - Our matching snoopy underwear
Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your Hannah Montana underwear

9) The first letter of your first name?
A/B - My virginity
C/D - Your photo with the moustache drawn on it
E/F - Your neighbors dog
G/H - The oil tank from your car
I/J - Your left ear
K/L - The results of that blood-sample
M/N - Your glass eye
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X – Your suicide note
Y/Z - Your credit cards

10) The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Love your sweet, sweet ass
C/D - Always will remember the pep talks
E/F -Never will forget that night
G/H – Will not tell the authorities that you stole the whale from the backyard.
I/J – Mocked you behind your back constantly
K/L - Hate your cooking
M/N - Told in my confession today about the moose poaching
O/P - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises
Q/R - Always wanted to break your legs
S/T - Get sick when I think of your feet
U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart
W/X - Haven’t showered in a month
Y/Z – am better off without you

11) What do you prefer to drink?
Wine- Our friendship is ruined
Soft drink – I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon
Soda – I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo
Milk - The apartment building is on fire
Water – I'm scratching my butt as you read this
Cider– I have a passionate interest for mice
Juice – You ruined my attempts at another world war
Mineral/Vitamin water – You should get that embarrassing rash checked
Hot chocolate – Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird
Whiskey - I love Oprah Winfrey
Beer – Thanks for the Cocaine
Other – you should stop picking your nose

12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand – Warm tingly sensations
Australia - Best of luck on the sex change
France - Love always
Spain - With tears of sadness
China – You make me sick
Germany – Please don’t hurt me
Japan - Go milk a cow
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
USA - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt – Kiss my butt
England - Go drown yourself.

I shall

• never say, "You can't imagine what a bad day I've had!" or "Man, you can never live the day I've had.", because, little do I know the other person may have had a worst day than me.

• never forget that a joke well presented or badly done remains a joke at the end of the day.

• eat more chocolate.