Frankly speaking, I loved it when you hardly had a social life.

So, I'm going to get a tortoise.

Click on the pictures to get a better view.

Worth it?

Marriage. The sound of the word sends chills down my spine.

No, I lied.

It doesn't.

But to many, my friends especially, I seem to reject the idea of marriage with a firm hand. Many people seem to come up with this fantastic idea of life 'like a bed of roses' once you're married, that you'd be smiling and singing and making love for the rest of your life...

What a fat load of trash. Sex is overrated (though I've never tried it, people seem to think it's heaven. It's hormones and friction, that's all), and your Prince Charming/ Knight in shining armor will turn into a toad once you're married. You know men, chivalry is dead when you slip that little band around his finger, and when he puts it on yours, it's shackles baby!

So, for once and for all, I'd like to explain to you readers out there why I am not fond of the idea of marriage.

Before I begin though, I'd like to say that:-

(a) Men are made to lead. In a family they are the head.

(b) Wives are to submit to their husbands. If you're a wife, please don't wear the pants. Make sure he does that, we ain't cut out for it. We're made for better other things.

Now, I shall begin.

1. Loss of Identity.
   When a woman is married to a man, she loses her surname. She is no longer Miss So & So daughter of So & So, she becomes Mrs (insert name of da man). So that's it, you belong to someone else, you're passed from one man to another, to be 'taken cared of'. And it's different to be a daughter and wife, different relationships altogether, different sort of love, different EVERYTHING. Which freaks me out.
   
   
2. Loss of Freedom.
   So now, you're Mrs (insert the name of da man). You're his other half, obviously better half, hence he makes up 50% of your life. You can't leave the house without wondering about his meals, or whether he's back from work, you can't sleep unless he's right beside you, you can't buy stuff, cook stuff, do stuff unless he wants to too. He rules you financially, physically, emotionally, mentally...
   
   DANG IT! You're supposed to submit to the husband! You want me to sign up for this...?
   
   
3. Loss of Life.
   Congratulations! You're pregnant!
   
   5 years later....
   Congratulations, you're mum to 4 grubby kids!
   
   15 years later....
   Congratulations, you're mum to 2 rebellious teenagers, a kid who's finding himself and a brat who can't stop crying...
   
   You're whole life now is dedicated to serving in the home and raising kids... The most scary thing in this whole marriage concept is motherhood. Raising lives, bringing them into this world then nurturing them until they're ready to fly.... SCARY!
   
   Although most women have natural motherly instincts, what I get is that you're responsible over lives. Should anything be screwed up, their blood in on your heads. You are stewards appointed by God to take care of your children and you are answerable to the Almighty. you don't wanna mess around with Daddy upstairs. Massive. You'll lose. 100% guaranteed.

So that's why.

But, but, but.... there are always buts.....

I shall serve you a dish of 'buts' in ' Worth it? Part II' another day...

I takde juice...

It has come down to this.

This point I have feared for so long.

I can't believe I am actually here.

I takde juice. (I don't have juice).

Apa? Juice sudah habis? (What? You're out of juice?)

Ya. (Yes).

I am out of juice.

And what juice could I possibly be talking about?

Literary juice, my friend.

Not literally, but literary.

Literally.

I have nothing exciting, fun, interesting, thought provoking or stupid to write about anymore.

Nothing, completa mente nada.

I feel so juice-less, it's weird.

The other day I wanted to write a poem of a woman who just got married, or was it before... no, at the altar! But, I forgot the few lines I have already orchestrated in my head. Sounded good, I think.

On top of being juice-less with ideas, my writing technique has deteriorated! No flare, no wit... Sigh* this blog is becoming boring.

I hate my juice-less brain.

Anyone got juice? Please squirt some on me.

My Name is Acquaintance.

Exclusively for April Chen and her kung fu panda, Kin Loong (the Hawaiian!)

Kin

i call u nvr pick up

Me
OH
sorry!!
my phone's on silent

Kin
lol...
its ok
i understand
nah don
don'r wry
i won't kacau u much, u got STPM hehe...

Me
ya dont kacau me
go cook la u

Kin
:(
wat did i do to u?
<=(

Me
u merajuk again
i go cook u

Kin
ok la.... sry i go again....
NO LORRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
U MERAJUK LORRRRRRR XP

Me
where got?
you say i merajuk

Kin
GOT!
confirm

Me
i double cook you
i fry you then i boil you

Kin
i rather be fed by dogs... =/=

Me
really?

Kin
u r so mean!

Me
which dog wanna cook you
and distribute you ard?
you calling me dog ah?
HUH?

Kin
i rather be eaten allive!!!
i didn't say that!!

Me
by who?
dog ah?
me ah?

Kin
....
-.-

Me
call me dog lar....

Kin
now i know ur true colours
i didn't say that

Me
my colour is black
i am black
and i'm not april

Kin
hmm yaya u weren't april for the past few month

Me
dei, serripaelu addikiraen!

Kin
-/-
don't understand

Me
its tamil
i'm black

Kin
thats y

Me
and i'm not april

Kin
i don't understand
hmm ok...

Me
i'm not april la u bafoon!

Kin
ya ok...

Me
haiyo, i dunno why she have yellow friends like you.

Kin
i'm not kin loong too...
don't worry

Me
okay thambi

Kin
i'm Hawaiian
no worries ;)

Me
no way!!!
I'm part Spanish!

Kin
better than black right?
=P

Me
oi, you making fun of indians a?

Kin
i love indian foods :D

Me
i send my klang brothers to you then you know
food and people are two different things

Kin
go ahead

Me
fine
i shall
with parangs

Kin
i'll see what they can do
hahah

Me
they can make chapatu
*chapati

Kin
i'll feed them to the dogs ;)

Me
you will feed YOURSELF to the dogs?

Kin
ur indian friends
there are so dark, ppl will think
they are bumps on the road
>=)
i wonder why kin loong has friends like u
=\

Me
you rotten hawaiian pineapple
when i see you, you'll be like a
crunched up surf board
may JAWS find its way to your bathroom

Kin
how i wished :)
a shark swimming in my toilet bow
wwow..
head line! world news!
well at least they are better than some ah neh neh's
knows how to drinks n be uncivilized

Me
you really have no idea who you are talking to
i'm april's friend
studying with her

Kin
hmm ok...
cuz i don

Me
you're mean

Kin
don't
if u r really april's friend
didn't u learn manners not to touch ppl
ppl's facebook?
privacy hello??

Me
she's next to me
laughing her ass of
you ass

Kin
better than somebody hacking into other
ppl's acc n talk to unknowns right?

Me
yeah
better
i don't hack

Kin
yup

Me
okay

Kin
sama sama aje

Me
don't be pisssed

Kin
i'm not

Me
she's here

Kin
i'm just following the flow

Me
she loves you
ahahahahahahaha

Kin
i hope so

Me
i got no klang brothers
ypu not chapati
the dog thing was her idea

Kin
haha
anyway who ever u r
i was just fooling
yes kin loong isn't here right now
no offense
gtg
bye

Me
aiya
dun like that lar

Kin
then what u want?

Me
sorry lar
ok, go lar.
april says sorry lar, du be angry

Kin
talk to u some other day... acquaintance :)

Me
next time shisha, she belanja

Kin
orang hawaii pun mesti makan jugak betul tak?
diner///

Me
pegi la

Kin
bye whoever u r :)

Me
makan bah kut teh

Kin
nice bitching
haha

Me
bye hawaiian!
yeah
it was.

Literature and Its Consequences.

We had just finished Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte and were moving on to Wide Sargasso Sea by Jean Rhys. Honestly, the book was a tough nut to crack. Its written based on someone's thoughts and descriptions, and to top that of, there was the Jamaican lingo sprawled all over.

Somehow, when we studied the book, I began to like this book better than Jane Eyre for what it stood for. See, Jane Eyre is about a woman. Her life until she finds true love. It's cool in the sense that its a woman's quest for her identity, and her independence, which was quite a load of courage for those times.

Hats off to Bronte.

But we can't neglect the fact that there was hints of sexism and racism in the book. As usual the male always had the upper hand, getting away with his faults but if the woman was in the wrong... AIYO! What a crime?

So Jean Rhys set out on a quest to show the world, HEY! You've got these situations, deal with it!

But that's the truth right? Men go around and have sex with multiple partners, they come to a bar and...

Male 1: Yo wassup dude?

Male 2: Nothing, just chilling...

Male 1: So how was last night? *winks*

Male 2: *sniggers*

Male 1: So, she's number 18...... 19?

Male 2: 23, dude!

Male 1: Woaaaa, you the man!

...but, if a woman does that...

Female 1: I had such a lovely night with Mr Z last Tuesday.

Female 2: Mr Z? What happened to Mr X?

Female 1: Mr X? Mr X was a hundred years ago, after him was Mr Y who didn't really amount to much and then there was Mr W but, nah... I like Mr Z.

Female 2: Oh, that's good for you! (Thinks to herself, 'What a whore!')

Male 3 sitting nearby: What a whore!

That's alway the issue right? A male could get away with sex as though he accidentally killed a cat on the road, but a woman who had sex would be prosecuted for bringing the world to an end!

And look at all the names they have!

• Whore
• Prostitute
• Hooker
• Harlot
• G.R.O
• Tea-lady

It only makes you wonder, are there any names for a promiscuous male?

None.

So, it is our duty to come up with one.

Fellow English Lit classmate came up with;

Brostitute

And mine;

Mostittute

So pick your choose and we shall end this chauvanism!

When I grow up, I wanna be a ....

Mum.

At this point, you must be thinking 'What?'

One minute this doofus loofus is all up and about feminism, anti-marriage activist and the next thing you know, she wants kids?

You heard me right the first time, I want babies!

I want them in all sorts of colours, four or five, if I can afford. I'll teach them to look beyond colour of skin, they'll be eradicated from racial curses, I raise them to follow their heart's desires and never suffocated them with my ideals, I'll support them financially and teach them creativity. They'll play while they learn, they'll never hate books and subjects instead embrace them in a creative manner. Yes, my kids will be genii of the future.

Haha, ambitious me.

Question is, how do I get these kids....? The conventional way?

Hehehe... NO!

NO!

NEVER!

Nope, I'm not getting pregnant. Na-ah! Not unless I get married.... but that's a different question altogether. (I'm still partially against marriage...!)

I'm not keen on swelling up then deflating multiple times... No offense.

But yeah, Imma gonna adopt yo!

So, all you women out there, planning to abort your babies, STOP WHERE YOU ARE!

I'll take 'em, just produce them, please?

Note: If you're planning to abort because of health reasons, you got raped, or you're some illiterate buffoon who curses in people's comment boxes because you can't understand what I'm saying, don't curse me. I'M REFERRING TO IRRESPONSIBLE GIRLS ONLY!!!!!! YOU HEAR ME?

Now that that's cleared, yeah, with all the mess some people have created, leaving this world in a massive mess of pro-creative activity, I want to do my part and adopt.

You think so easy meh? Adopt, adopt.... one day they ask you why you so dark I so white, what you going to say?

I'll say, " That's because I'm Indian and you're, _fill in the blanks , (Vietnamese, Chinese, Japanese, Cambodian, Thai, anything else lighter skinned than Indians.)...".

Yes, my children will know that I have adopted them. They deserve that right, nevertheless, I shall love them all equally.

What about the father figure? Ain't he important?

Urm... no?

I'll bother about that some other day.... : )

As for now, I want colourful babies. That's all.

Oh look! Another one!